Living with an elderly parent can work wonders in certain families. Multigenerational households were common before the 1960’s and are still the norm in most of the world.
The invitation to move into the household is often sparked by the child’s love and sense of duty. For some families this is precious time together. Generally, day to day living doles out a stiff dose of a different realty. Some questions to consider:
Do you have a pleasant relationship with your parent?
Does your parent want to move in with you? What is their preference?
What is the relationship with your siblings? If your lazy brother is used to visiting mother and drinking beer all day in the living room; can he come over and do this at your house?
How do you anticipate this affecting the current dynamics of your home? What if you are on the go a lot and your dad expects large family dinners at home each night? Can your family come to a reasonable compromise on daily activities?
How long do you anticipate this living arrangement to last? A few months during the end of a terminal illness is quite different than the next 10 to 20 years.
Is your home able to physically accommodate your parent: are the doorways wide enough? Is the bathroom large enough? Is the interior free of stairs?
Will you need to make any modifications to the home? If so, do you have the time to make the necessary accommodation changes? Home renovation can take months; does that match the care need timetable of your parent?
How will the building updates be paid for?

If you are moving into mom’s home, what happens if she dies suddenly? Where will you live?

What happens when their care needs increase? Will siblings be able to contribute time or money to help care for the parent?

Do the siblings respect the impact on the life of the caregiver child? There are often negative emotional and physical health implications with the stress of full time care giving. If mom is 90 and the adult child is 70, is the child fit enough to care for the parent?
Does your family have a history of fair negotiation? With matters of a Will, Inheritance, Financial Power of Attorney, Healthcare Power of Attorney, other family monetary arrangement, it’s always a good idea to seek advice from a professional; consider an Elder Law Attorney, Family Mediator, Certified Financial planner, Certified Public Accountant, Geriatric Nurse Case Manager.

For many families, the multigenerational household is a dynamic and cherished lifestyle. Your family should give this arrangement careful consideration. If it will works for your family…wonderful!

As an Assisted Living Professional you have a lot to do, and little time to do it all. Looking for a great way to work together better with Discharge Planners?

In one place, bring together the people and tools you need to fill your empty beds.

5 cool things about online marketing that can make your day!

1.    Go Green.

Stop faxing and instead update your census online. You will save reams of paper and help sustain the forests.

2.    Find your neighbors.

Do you know all the providers in your area? Have you done a search lately?  You may be surprised to learn how many assisted living options exist surrounding your zip code.

3.    Take a Breath.

Make the industry network connection in an instant. Immediate Communication of Posting Bed Openings gives you a moment to breathe.

4.    Make it easy

Get Current Information about Assisted Living.  Connect Families, Providers, and Social Work Professionals.

5.    Reduce Long Term Care Costs.

Stop the expensive and exclusive referral fees.   Give everyone access to all assisted living options.

ALProList is on the web, always available.

Warmly,

Holly

Y’all come back now, Y’here!  Do you remember that last line of the theme song from a 1960’s TV show.  “The Beverly Hillbillies” had Granny to look after the family. With her watchful eye and shotgun in hand, Granny took charge of the household.

On most days, you probably feel a kinship with Granny. As an assisted living professional you are charged with looking out for the better health and welfare of the elderly, and staff  in your facility; albeit,  minus the shot gun. In your fast paced day you often have only a few minutes to convey the depth of caring attention you and your staff provide.

How can you quickly create a good impression with both new tours and maintain positive relationships with your current resident families?

3 Simple Ways to Show Your Hospitality

1. Answer the phone within three rings.

The more times the phone rings, the more the family will think “if it takes them this long to answer the phone, how long does my mom have to wait when she needs something?”

Staffing is tight these days and you do want to put the resident’s needs first, yet, someone has to answer the phone with a positive, professional welcome.

A prompt friendly hello translates into a positive impression for attentiveness.  If you don’t have reception staff available, make sure you have an automated answering system that will kick in during busy times.

When you must rely on an answering machine, use a message something like this: “Thank you for calling. We are currently attending to our residents. Kindly leave your name and number and we will return the call as we complete our resident care duties.”

2. Curb Appeal

Each time you come and go from your building, look at it with fresh eyes and train your staff to do the same.  Don’t look past the eyesores of yard liter, or anything that could translate into lack of attention.

Again, families translate attention to outer details as attention to the care for their loved one.   Do the windows look clean; is the front door area freshly swept or vacuumed?  Do you have a welcome sign or inviting potted plant or flowers?  Does the outdoor presentation of your building create the impression that you provide kind, competent care?  A scheduled daily front door spruce up is a must.

3. Send a Thank You Note.

It’s a pretty good guess that any family member touring assisted living is anticipating an impending family transition and experiencing some level of stress.  People are so used to quick email and phone tag messages that personal attention gets lost.  Show them that you will take the time to attend to personal details by handwriting a little note just for them.  That little note will help to convey the special human touch that you will share with their loved one.

Remember to follow through with some of the details your granny would like.  Often, it’s the littlest thing that makes the biggest impression.

About Holly:

Holly Pitas. Passionate in the belief that families need information and access to all levels of choice regarding assisted living and supportive options, Holly shares her insight as a family caregiver, professional service provider and industry enthusiast.  Learn your Wisconsin options at Assisted Living Provider List, www. ALProList.com

Even in the happiest, most congenial of families, where you’ve gotten together for every holiday – differences of opinion exist. And they range from whether mashed potatoes are mandatory with lamb for Easter to what’s the best residential facility for a parent. Obviously the later decision is a bit more important, wouldn’t you say?

What happens when siblings differ, big time?

How can you navigate the trials of aging parents when you can’t stand to be in the same room with your childhood nemesis that just happens to share your DNA?

Remember, it’s not about you.  And, it’s not about your sibling. It’s about the best circumstances for your elder parent.  Keep your childhood ego under wraps and show up as a grownup.

Take stock of the situation Today.  And, respond in accordance with the person you are, Today.

Do you behave in the same manner you did at 10? Let’s hope not!  If you evolved into a well rounded adult, maybe your brother has too.  As much as you don’t want to be pigeon holed into the assigned family role you had as a child, give your sibling the benefit of the doubt and let them be a grownup too.

Assisted Living Facility Managers and Social Workers are often vexed at the complicated inner workings of the adversarial adult sibling relationship.

You want what’s best for your parent and so does your sibling.  Everyone should be on the same page as to the current status of the elder’s heath and needs. Family meetings are part of the process for sharing information and status reports about the parent that resides in assisted living.  Your refusal to cooperate does not harm your sibling, but it may harm your parent by causing undue stress and anxiety.

Blocking family meetings, withholding information, being rude to staff for talking to “the opposition” can have a negative result on the effectiveness of the facilities ability to perform for your parent.  Don’t waste the energy of the staff by making them navigate the proverbial minefield of your sibling dynamics.

If your mom is in her 80’s, you and her other children are likely to be in your 60’s.  Hmmm, so the people that have grown up and raised families of their own, have educations, possibly retired from successful professional careers, some may hold powerful roles in their communities, yet crumble to the behavior of their 5 year old self when placed in a room with their siblings;   Mind boggling.

What Can You Do To Work Around the Disharmony?

1. Agree to disagree about the past.  Call a truce and move forward on behalf of the parents you love. Stop trying to be right and instead do right.  Help to do what is in your parent’s best interest.
2. Realize that the Facility Professional is working on behalf of the senior and does not want to get caught in a family feud. If you really can’t be in the same room as your sibling, consider a phone conference.  It will give everyone the opportunity to share the same information without the pressure of a face to face.
3. Decide what is most important for your parents.  If you can’t tolerate even a phone conference be willing to step out of the decision making.  Do not try to use your parent or the facility staff as a pawn in your family disagreements.

Where can you go for help when you really can’t stand your siblings?

Be upfront with the Facility Manager.  There’s always a family with a story worse that yours.  The Facility Manager has heard them all and can be instrumental in connecting you with the local resources that can help your family work together to promote the best situation for your aging parent.

Some families have experienced very serious issues that are beyond the scope of common sibling rivalry.  Three options that may provide the referee or  guidance your family needs:

The Ombudsman Program can provide support and direction on behalf of the elder.   You may contact the Wisconsin Board on Aging and Long Term Care (800) 815-0015, boaltc@ltc.state.wi.us.   National Ombudsman Contac

Some situations require the intervention of Elder Abuse Specialists.  In Wisconsin to find your local county contact or report visit http://dhs.wisconsin.gov/aging/elderabuse/ . The National Adult Protective Services Association,  www.info@apsnetwork.org.

Working with a professional Family Mediation Specialist may prove helpful to your family and provide the support your ailing elder parent needs. Wisconsin Association of Mediators at www.wamediators.org,  infowam@mailbag.com

Realize that your behavior does influence the general health and well being of your parent.  We can pick our friends, but we can’t pick our family.  Keeping on topic will help smooth out some of the misunderstanding and disagreements that can crop up during the meeting process.  For better or worse accept the family you were born with and make the necessary adjustments to create a way for your family to move forward to work together for a positive experience for your aging parent.

About Holly:

Holly Pitas. Passionate in the belief that families need information and access to all levels of choice regarding assisted living and supportive options, Holly shares her insight as a family caregiver, professional service provider and industry enthusiast.  Learn your Wisconsin options at Assisted Living Provider List, www. ALProList.com

An editorial in tomorrow’s Journal of the American Medical Association offers anything but welcome words for Baby Boomers and their elders. These aging, if not geriatric, individuals constitute a large share of the 75-million-and-growing number of patients annually who must cope with at least two chronic medical conditions — ones that will each require at least a year of ongoing treatment.

Is the U.S. healthcare system prepared to deal with these patients? “Current indications suggest that it is not,” according to physicians Anand Parekh and Mary Barton. And they might be expected know. Parekh is the Deputy Assistant Secretary for Health and Barton works for the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality.

Two-thirds of U.S. medical spending goes to treat the one-quarter of Americans with multiple chronic health conditions. There’s a good reason that such a disproportionate share of insurance and government spending goes to help these people, Parekh and Barton note: As the number of chronic conditions that any individual has increases, so does the number of unnecessary hospitalizations; adverse drug events; redundant tests; instances of conflicting medical advice — and, most importantly, cases of “poor functional status and death.” Yep, that last one is a killer.

The pair points to diabetes as a good example. One in ten American adults suffers from this metabolic disease — and 90 percent of these individuals have at least one additional chronic condition. Such as cardiovascular disease. Or incipient dementia. Or crippling arthritis. Or an osteoporotic fracture. Or prostate cancer. Or chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.

To maximize their patients’ care and quality of life, physicians in disparate fields should be coordinating the monitoring and treatment of people with multiple, long-term illnesses. But there’s little financial or even social incentive for them to do so, Parekh and Barton say. Under the current “fee-for-service” rubric, each additional medical test or office visit warrants another payment. And overworked docs can find it frustrating to try to touch bases with similarly overworked peers to review cases.

Nor has there been much research investigating the special risks associated with managing comorbidities (although that is starting to change), Parekh and Barton point out. In the past, people with many chronic diseases would have died by middle age, or at least before a second, third (much less a fourth) long-term ailment was diagnosed. So one glass-half-full way to look at the problem is that people are surviving longer with disease. A good thing, right?

A more dismal prospect: Our golden years may be tarnished by having to suffer with more disease — and over far longer periods.

As my 90-something mother-in-law said to me one day after perhaps her seventh doctor’s visit of the month: “You know, Janet, getting old sucks.” Aside from the out-of-character verb that she chose, there was a spare elegance to what she said. She was tired of the chronic pain, of having to remember to take all of those pills, of failing to remember what she’d planned for dinner and of having to hunt once again for her misplaced reading glasses (or shoes, house key, hearing aid, credit card . . . fill in the blank).

I valued every day we had with this sweet woman. And just wished her doctors had been able to manage her myriad symptoms better so that she didn’t come to look forward to the end.

As more — and an increasing proportion — of us approach our geriatric years, we had better hope that medicine learns how to manage multiple chronic ails. Indeed, it’s in our collective vested interests to see that more research dollars get funneled into this understudied area. And soon.

Leaving the office to attend a Conference is always a challenge. Our work continues to pile up on our desk whether or not we are in the office. We will always have more work than time.

The Conference formally begins on Wednesday March 24, 2010. This year is at Kalahari in Wisconsin Dells.

We have a wonderful opportunity to network and learn with colleagues from around the State. Let’s leave the office behind and focus on this Conference.

Five helpful hints to make the next few days run smoothly.

Change your phone message:
Alert callers that you will be returning urgent messages only and routine messages as possible.  Your phone will be off during the Breakout Sessions.  Let callers know what time you will be checking in to return messages or leave the name of someone else that can handle the calls for you.

1. Put an auto response on your email:
   Let your contacts know that you will be out of the office for a few days at the WALA Conference.  Again, let them know you will return urgent messages as possible.  Most routine emails can wait until you are back in the office on Friday….or even next Monday!
2. Pack your business cards:
   Keep your Business cards in an easy to reach place, like your suit pocket or the outside pocket of your purse so you don’t have to fumble looking for them.  Be sure to visit the Exhibitors and drop a card in the giveaway basket…someone is going to win the prize, it could be you.
3. Smile and Introduce Yourself:
   Networking can be a challenge for many people, lots of us are pretty shy at heart.  Figure that the other person may be shyer than you, so offer a smile and a hello.  We are at this Conference to learn and exchange ideas, don’t let a little shyness hold you back.  Assisted Living is a career-haven for really great people; you will make some wonderful contacts.
4. Breath Mints and Hand Sanitizer:
   Need I say more?

The WALA Conference always offers innovative issues and hot topics it’s hard to narrow the choice of which Breakouts to attend.  If you are looking for something fun and informative come and see Bobbie Thompson, of Touchmark on West Prospect in Appleton, and me on Thursday at 11:30.  Bobbie will present the latest on Social Media and I will offer options for Internet Marketing.

“How to Get Found – Using Technology for Your Marketing Benefit”

I hope to find you at the WALA Conference!

To your success,

Holly

Holly Pitas
Assisted Living Provider List
ALProList.com

Many older Americans facing retirement want to find a way to increase their monthly income.  Today, more than ever before, there are new and innovative home ownership options that can help seniors optimize cash flow and promote peace of mind.

One option, the federally-insured,  Home Equity Conversion Mortgage (HECM) enables seniors to borrow against the equity in their home without repaying the debt for as long as they live in the house.  That’s the “reverse” part of this kind of mortgage loan.  Instead of making monthly payments, you can opt to receive them.  The loan proceeds can be used for any purpose, and taken out as a lump sum payment, fixed monthly payment, line of credit or as a combination.

The HECM reverse mortgage is the most popular reverse mortgage in America today.  Through the program, the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development insures mortgages that allow homeowners age 62 or over to convert their home equity into tax-free income.  The program has insured over 450,000 reverse mortgages since 1989.

When you take out a reverse mortgage, nothing happens to your home.  You remain the owner for as long as you live there, and you will never be forced to move.  If you decide to sell or move from your home, the outstanding balance of your reverse mortgage would become due, just as it would with a traditional mortgage.  Unlike a traditional mortgage, however, your balance can never exceed the value of your home when you sell it.

The maximum loan amount for a reverse mortgage is based on three primary factors:  the age of the youngest borrower, value of the home and current interest rates.  You must occupy the home as your principal residence for a majority of the year.  The property must be a single-family or two-to-four unit dwelling.  Town homes, detached homes, condominium units, planned unit developments and some manufactured homes are eligible.

The home doesn’t have to be owned free and clear to qualify for a reverse mortgage.  You may qualify for a reverse mortgage if the home has a remaining mortgage that can be paid off at the closing with proceeds from the reverse loan.

To be eligible for a HUD reverse mortgage program, HUD requires that the homeowner live in the home as his or her primary residence, be at least 62 years of age or older and own the home free and clear, or only have a low remaining mortgage balance that can be paid off at the closing with proceeds from the reverse loan.  As a key consumer protection, all borrowers are required to participate in a counseling session with a HUD-approved agency to determine if a reverse mortgage is the best option.

About the Author

Jane Alvis
Reverse Mortgage Consultant
Wells Fargo Home Mortgage

Thinking about who is the best person to care for your mom or dad is a never ending thought. Here I am writing some tips to guide you in selection of best care home for your loved ones.

• Choose a location: The best location for the retirement home for your loved ones is close to where most of the family members live so that you and other family members may visit them more often.
• Size of care home: You should yourself go and check the number of residents there and number of rooms available. A too big and busy care home is not good. Smaller is Better.
• Special Care your parent need: Like handling a parent suffering from dementia can be even more traumatic so an ideal dementia care home must also allow patients to take part in productive and innovative programs that keep them involved in some communicative tasks so that the impact of the disease can be kept in check.
• Food: Food is a very important part of your loved one’s life. You must try a meal at the care home to make sure it is good for your parents. This is a great way to test the food service.
• Find out what type of recreational activities the facility has. Most care homes offer an array of activities.
• Church Services: Are there worship services at the home? This is a very important part of the seniors daily life.
• Transportation Services: Shopping trips, doctors visits, tours and just going for a ride are often part of the assisted living amenities. Most seniors will have to give up their driving license for safety reasons.

If you’re concerned about the well-being and quality of life of an aging parent or loved one, trust that you’re not alone and by selecting Alpha Care Homes, you will be making the right decision. Their experienced professionals will assess the situation, present and evaluate the most appropriate options, offer customised solutions and guide you to the best possible decision.

About the Author

Alpha Care homes

Many older parents live alone, but if they suffer from health related problems or have difficulties with everyday tasks. Sometimes, a doctor may recommend they receive extra care or declare them unable to live by themselves. Children, who now have families of their own sometimes struggle with the responsibility of providing additional care for their loved ones but are reluctant or unwilling to send them to local elder care facilities.

Assisted living care can provide resources and services that make it easier for caregivers to go about their daily activities but allow elderly loved ones to benefit from support and a structured environment. If you’re caring for an elderly relative, parent, or loved one, you no doubt have other responsibilities such as work, caring for children, and a busy schedule. Assisted living care workers can visit your home and serve as companions for a loved one, taking care of small tasks such as administering medications, driving, assisting with grocery shopping, cooking meals, and cleaning up. These services provide peace of mind to caregivers.

How Assisted Living Care Can Help a Family:

Lisa spends the majority of her time working for the government and caring for her husband, who suffers from a long-term illness. A while ago, she realized that her 86-year-old mother Mary was having some difficulty living on her own (she’d had several fall injuries) and Mary’s doctor recommended she get help and move in with Lisa. Lisa soon realized that her hectic schedule and husband’s needs made it difficult to provide the best care for Mary, but she was reluctant to place her in an adult day care center or community elder care center. She then found out about another solution—assisted living caregivers were available to visit Mary at her home several times a week, allowing Lisa time to care for her husband and enjoy free time and run errands. “It has been a great relief for when I need to go to work and can’t care for my mother. I’m very grateful for assisted living care services because I didn’t want to move her to a facility. She’ll stay at home with us because growing up, she was always there for me and I intend to be there for her.”

Anticipating relief from assisted living care services can be a lifesaver. Take the time to assess your needs and look into what assisted living care services can do for your family or loved ones. They’ll help you work together to ensure each other’s happiness.

About the Author

E.Ronchetti is a freelance writer for Visitng Angels,assisted living facilities provider to help adults.Visit our website for more information on Assisted Living Care .

Florida nursing homes, or if you wouldn’t be comfortable with that, could also called be called Florida convalescent homes, care homes, skilled nursing units, or just a rest home. It is a place where people who need care due to physical deficiencies or who could not sustain the activities of daily living will be attended to. While it may be very popular for the elderly and the seniors who have gone past their retirement age, it can also be a facility for younger adults, specifically 18 years or older, who have physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. Proper treatment and care are given them depending on their needs. There will be physical, speech, or occupational therapists who will focus to all their needs.

Among the services provided in Florida nursing homes are the services of registered nurses, nursing aides, and nursing assistants and a couple of therapists–speech, physical, and occupational. There are also recreational assistants and social workers who will likewise provide any kind of assistance that the residents would need. There are 4 nursing assistants for every 10 residents while 7 to 13 registered nurses for every 100 residents. Room and board for the residents are also among the services in Florida nursing homes. That is why in most nursing homes, care is facilitated and provided by certified nursing assistants but is strictly supervised by their skilled professionals.

As opposed to the concept of nursing homes, assisted living facilities are another option for those considering of senior care. It is another type of residence basically for seniors and elderly who can be independent but will need help in managing some of the basic day-to-day activities. Typical assisted living facilities would resemble an apartment community with each resident living in separate units. The staff would be there each day to check on them and help them with some of their personal chores while a licensed nurse would be on a 24-hour duty to respond to emergencies. Most residents in assisted living facilities would include individuals who still maintain an active lifestyle but for the peace of mind of their family members would admit them in assisted living facilities for constant care and assistance if and when needed. Some assisted living facilities would even provide transportation for their residents when they would go on a medical appointment or when they need to go out for a scheduled outing.

When day-to-day activities become difficult, fret not for there is such a thing as assisted living facilities that will ably provide assistance for your senior loved ones; otherwise, when a comprehensive medical care is needed, there are also Florida nursing homes available for them.