Hey Twinkle Toes…tame those barking dogs!
April 16, 2011
By Holly Pitas
“My dogs are barking!” I had no idea what she was talking about. Bertie explained to me her expression for saying her feet hurt.
Even following her Doctor recommendations and prescribed medications, most everything on her body ached at some point each day. It was the painful feet that she considered most intolerable. She had old feet, gnarled with arthritis, and twisted toes. Yep, just looking at them was painful.
We couldn’t get her any new feet, but we could certainly try to help this pair.
A relaxing foot soak, a little home pedicure, can be just the thing to relieve those aching feet and tease in a little comfort.
Proceed with caution.
Grab a basin, some lotion, a towel, a nail file and get to work. Whoa! Sounds easy, but it’s not so simple. Working with the elderly or assisting a special needs person requires special consideration in all tasks. You must be fully prepared to conduct the task from start to finish with all proper tools at hand. Think ahead. Prepare. Double-check. Execute with utmost caution.
What you’ll need.
Once you get started you will not be able to leave the person unattended. Make sure you have everything in place. You’ll be working with water and it may spill. It’s best to be on a hard surface floor, like in the bathroom or kitchen. Have extra towels within reach.
Time: This process may take anywhere from 15 minutes to one hour.
Tools: as appropriate, pumice for calluses, toenail clipper, nail buffer.
The Expected: Comfortable chair for them and a basin or bucket big enough for feet to comfortably submerge. Towels, wash cloth, powder, lotion.
The Unexpected: Q-tips, prescription lotion, blow-dryer, clean slippers/socks/shoes (for when they’re done), phone (to dial 911 in case of emergency), magazine or item to look at, pleasant music, sweater or blanket ( in case they get cold) sani-gloves, white vinegar. Contain items for safe and easy access in a wheeled cart or basket.
Extras: A trip to the toilet before putting feet into water.
As needed for safety, an additional person in the room to assist with focus, entertainment, or distraction.
Set the stage:
Have a comfortable chair for them to sit in and a stool for you to sit on. Ideally, you’ll want to sit closer to foot level. Test it out, sit in their chair and put your feet into a dry basin. Are you comfortable to sit this way for 10 to 15 minutes? If not, make adjustments. Be sure to consider their body height and shape. Make it most comfortable for them. Don’t have the person try to maneuver around the tools. Best to have the person sit down safely into the chair and then move the basin and tools into place.
Comfortably warm water: approximately 100 degrees. Be sure to test it, a cooking thermometer works well or submerge your sani-gloved hand for 20 seconds. Warm enough to be comfortable, not hot enough to irritate delicate skin. Adding some white vinegar will help to soften the water, while acting as a natural deodorizer and antifungal.
Caution: older people may have something called “neuralgia” which means they have diminished ability to feel sensation. They might feel the pain of arthritis, but they won’t feel a needle prick. Essentially they could soak their feet in scalding water and not realize they are burning their skin.
Soak feet in the basin. Gently rub calluses with the washcloth, trim, file and buff nails as appropriate. Gentle stroking or massage can be soothing… no tickling!
Dry the feet thoroughly: Try using a Q-tip between toes; it’s very gentle on delicate skin. A blow-dryer on low is great for drying hidden moisture.
Exit: Move basin and tools out of the way. Dry Floor area thoroughly! Apply proper footwear. Bare feet with lotion are slippery and dangerous! Help person to stand and exit the area. Safely situate them on their next adventure and then go back and clean up.
General Tips:
At every medical exam the Doctor should examine bare feet, top and bottom. If nails or calluses are particularly thick you may want to seek the help of a Podiatrist. Check out your local Senior Center, many offer special nail trimming foot care by a visiting foot specialist.
Caution on using “heat” creams. Again, these can burn delicate, sensitive elderly skin. Be sure to inquire about various creams with your Pharmacist, Doctor, Nurse, or Professional Care-giver.
Do you dare to wear purple?
March 20, 2011
By Holly Pitas
“Warning …I shall sit on the pavement when I am tired….and learn to spit…”
I laughed out loud! Who knew an old woman would ever think such a thing.
Circa 1989, browsing greeting cards in a gift shop in Woodstock NY, I discovered this charming poem by Jenny Joseph. Although only in my 20’s and ‘old’ seeming so far away, I bought the card as a keepsake because I found the poem clever. Little did I know that in just a few years I would be working with elderly people, open my own Adult Family Home and meet some real life women (and men) that exemplify the daring woman in this poem.
Framed and hanging on the wall in the kitchen of the Adult Family Home, I read it almost every day for fun, and inspiration. It reminds me to focus on the spirit of their personality. The body may age but spirit remains ageless. People living in an older body continue to house the same, full spirit that has been their escort throughout their entire life.
Been there, done that.
Nothing much surprises the elderly; they’ve already encountered most everything. The great peaks of joy and heartbreaking sorrow that surprise and evolve us all during this thing called “Life”. It’s amazing to witness elders as they embark on each new day, fresh with gracious courage and displays of perseverance. They cleverly invoke the witty outlook of Jenny Josephs “Warning”.
What about you?
Continue reading and see who you may recognize ….
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people’s gardens
And learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
Jenny Joseph
What’s in Grandmas mailbox?
February 18, 2011
By Holly Pitas
The old fashioned postal service is a reliable tenet of daily life. Delivered at pretty much the same time each day, mail has worked its way into our biorhythms. Checking the mail is a regular activity. What fun to find a
personal note from a loved one. Written just for us, it makes us feel special Maybe a letter of appreciation for something we’ve done, or even better yet an invitation to do something fun.
Older people have lost so much of what created their daily life rhythms. No more kids to get ready for school; they have their own life now. No more job to attend; retired for years. No more family cooking; they live alone. No more mail… someone handles that for them. For someone that used to be very busy with the tasks that make up a life it can be lonesome going without familiar routine, including sorting through the daily mail.
Give your favorite elder a little something to look forward to. Write them a note, or a short letter. Their history includes receiving personal mail: think WWII movies and soldiers lined up for mail call…the lucky ones happily trotting off with a letter from home. Even if you are in frequent contact with visits or phone calls write a note just to make them feel special.
If mom is a little forgetful a note will help her to remember the details. Hi Mom, We’re looking forward to having you over for lunch this Sunday, February 27, 2011. I’ll pick you up at 11:30 AM . As always, I’ll telephone you to let you know I’m on the way. Looking forward to having you over…
Dad doesn’t display emotions, or maybe you don’t know how to share your emotions with him. Letters can help you share without putting someone on public emotional hot-seat. Dad, You worked hard to support the family. I know you did your best. Thanks for everything…
If advanced dementia is present then write about the past…the great Thanksgiving Day dinners, or the Christmas the cat knocked down the tree.
An old fashioned note from someone makes you feel special, thought of, cared for. Give your mom, or dad, or aunt, or favorite old neighbor a moment of happiness by sending a personal note. A hand written note, okay, maybe you type it in large font, use spell check and then hand sign it.
It’s a personal touch. They can hold it in their hand and reread it as many times as they want.
Try to send a note on a regular basis. For you, it’s a moment of thoughtfulness, a simple task to generate a little anticipation for your favorite elder to welcome back a familiar daily routine.
Let’s take a ride…
December 1, 2010
By Holly Pitas
Continue reading “Let’s take a ride…” »
Here come the seagulls…
November 23, 2010
By Cori Marsh.
If you are a family caregiver and have out of town relatives come in for a short visit, have you noticed how much better your loved one seems to be while they are here?
Have you been in a position to ask them for help, or tried to talk to them about this possibly being the time to look for placement outside of the home? Have those “out-of-towners” been resistant to the idea, thinking your loved one really isn’t all that bad, and why can’t you, as the “in-towner’” , just do a little bit more. I lovingly call these visitors seagulls, they swoop in, do what seagulls do best…all over the place at that, and swoop away. Leaving all those impacted feeling sad, disillusioned and overwhelmed…harboring that secret feeling of “I can’t do this anymore”.
And just like that, issues that were wearing you out from your loved one are back in full force.
I have long said that if you are a struggling caregiver all you have to do is take your loved one to the doctor or have out of town family come in and voila!, things become miraculously better…for the duration of the visit.
I am a professional caregiver, and have been for a long time, more than twenty years in fact, but there was a time that I was a family caregiver as well.
My in laws had many maladies over the years.
Meeting their needs, my family’s needs and holding down full time jobs was a real challenge, for both of us. We had periods of daily 60 mile round trips for chemotherapy, many Friday night trips to the ER and the need to keep up with the laundry, food stuffs, doctor appointments, medication distribution and procurement for two families, not one. Everything done out of love with NO regrets, but sometimes with a weariness that defies description. Guilt for not doing more, guilt for secretly wishing you didn’t have to do it all because I love my in laws and really would have done anything for them.
I reached out for help, begged for it in fact. Sometimes I got it, but only on the weekend…and then we were expected to hang around and spend time with the out-of-towners, now I was cooking for three families instead of two, the laundry for three (because yes, they come, leave a mess and go home.) !
Blessings to you as your seagulls visit.
contributed by Cori Mash.
Community Relations Director, Harbor House.
corimarsh@harborassisted.com
Better People Providing Better Care… my harborhouse.com
Specializing in assisted living for people with Dementia and Alzheimer’s.
Would it be a good idea for mom to move in with me?
August 10, 2010
By Holly Pitas
Living with an elderly parent can work wonders in certain families. Multigenerational households were common before the 1960’s and are still the norm in most of the world.
The invi
tation to move into the household is often sparked by the child’s love and sense of duty. For some families this is precious time together. Generally, day to day living doles out a stiff dose of a different realty. Some questions to consider:
Do you have a pleasant relationship with your parent?
Does your parent want to move in with you? What is their preference?
What is the relationship with your siblings? If your lazy brother is used to visiting mother and drinking beer all day in the living room; can he come over and do this at your house?
How do you anticipate this affecting the current dynamics of your home? What if you are on the go a lot and your dad expects large family dinners at home each night? Can your family come to a reasonable compromise on daily activities?
How long do you anticipate this living arrangement to last? A few months during the end of a terminal illness is quite different than the next 10 to 20 years.
Is your home able to physically accommodate your parent: are the doorways wide enough? Is the bathroom large enough? Is the interior free of stairs?
Will you need to make any modifications to the home? If so, do you have the time to make the necessary accommodation changes? Home renovation can take months; does that match the care need timetable of your parent?
How will the building updates be paid for?
If you are moving into mom’s home, what happens if she dies suddenly? Where will you live?
What happens when their care needs increase? Will siblings be able to contribute time or money to help care for the parent?
Do the siblings respect the impact on the life of the caregiver child? There are often negative emotional and physical health implications with the stress of full time care giving. If mom is 90 and the adult child is 70, is the child fit enough to care for the parent?
Does your family have a history of fair negotiation? With matters of a Will, Inheritance, Financial Power of Attorney, Healthcare Power of Attorney, other family monetary arrangement, it’s always a good idea to seek advice from a professional; consider an Elder Law Attorney, Family Mediator, Certified Financial planner, Certified Public Accountant, Geriatric Nurse Case Manager.
For many families, the multigenerational household is a dynamic and cherished lifestyle. Your family should give this arrangement careful consideration. If it will works for your family…wonderful!
Want to Get More Done, Faster?
May 14, 2010
By Holly Pitas
As an Assisted Living Professional you have a lot to do, and little time to do it all. Looking for a great way to work together better with Discharge Planners?
In one place, bring together the people and tools you need to fill your empty beds.
5 cool things about online marketing that can make your day!
1. Go Green.
Continue reading “Want to Get More Done, Faster?” »
How to Optimize Low Tech Etiquette in a High Tech World.
May 11, 2010
By Holly Pitas
Y’all come back now, Y’hear! Do you remember that last line of the theme song from a 1960’s TV show. “The Beverly Hillbillies” had Granny to look after the family. With her watchful eye and shotgun in hand, Granny took charge of the household.
On most days, you probably feel a kinship with Granny. As an assisted living professional you are charged with looking out for the better health and welfare of the elderly, and staff in your facility; albeit, minus the shot gun. In your fast paced day you often have only a few minutes to convey the depth of caring attention you and your staff provide.
Continue reading “How to Optimize Low Tech Etiquette in a High Tech World.” »
When Siblings Disagree About Aging Parents – Who Is Right?
May 7, 2010
By Holly Pitas
Even in the happiest, most congenial of families, where you’ve gotten together for every holiday – differences of opinion exist. And they range from whether mashed potatoes are mandatory with lamb for Easter to what’s the best residential facility for a parent. Obviously the later decision is a bit more important, wouldn’t you say?
What happens when siblings differ, big time?
How can you navigate the trials of aging parents when you can’t stand to be in the same room with your childhood nemesis that just happens to share your DNA?
Remember, it’s not about you. And, it’s not about your sibling. It’s about the best circumstances for your elder parent. Keep your childhood ego under wraps and show up as a grownup.
Take stock of the situation Today. And, respond in accordance with the person you are, Today.
Continue reading “When Siblings Disagree About Aging Parents – Who Is Right?” »
U.S.Health System Not Adequately Prepared For The Aging Sick
April 8, 2010
The problem can really break down for people with multiple chronic conditions.
By Janet Raloff
An editorial in tomorrow’s Journal of the American Medical Association offers anything but welcome words for Baby Boomers and their elders. These aging, if not geriatric, individuals constitute a large share of the 75-million-and-growing number of patients annually who must cope with at least two chronic medical conditions — ones that will each require at least a year of ongoing treatment.
Continue reading “U.S.Health System Not Adequately Prepared For The Aging Sick” »
